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And yet I didn’t feel ugly like I had in the past, despite my face looking completely different to how it should. And that’s because something like Botox, or any intervention against ugliness, or aging, or weight gain whatever you wish to call it is seen as more morally commendable than accepting your body as it is. Watch Troye Sivan Prepare to Walk the Cannes Red Carpet And Share the Posing Tips He Learned From Lily-Rose Depp For much of my life, I’ve been unable to put my finger on what exactly it feels like to feel ugly. But I’ve also noticed that I have been congratulated when I’m doing something to change my appearance toward a more accepted beauty standard. Whether it was being put on a strict diet by my doctor at fourteen and being applauded by a group of women at Weight Watchers every week when I lost a pound, or whether it was the remark a friend’s mum made at a wedding when she told me she was so glad I started being good to my skin. The last time she saw me, she said, I was “looking unwell.”
It was 2018, and I was twenty eight, lying there in a darkened hotel room, paying a backstreet Botox doctor in cash to knock out the wrinkles on my forehead. Two weeks later this botch-job would set in, and my flat mate would look at me with worry. I looked at my face in the mirror, my right eyelid drooped slightly and my forehead looked oddly like sliced cheese, I had done what only 85-year-old Upper East Side women are supposed to do and I’d botched my face. For weeks following I’d be told I looked “kinda gormless,” “unwell,” “very very shiny?”
Behind every luminous star on the red carpet, there is a team of people who help to keep them looking their best. But alongside the personal trainers, makeup artists, and facialists getting their shout-outs on Instagram, there works another, more anonymous behind-the-scenes expert who is absent from the tags: the aesthetic doctor. Yes, the person who wields all manner of needles and lasers is often the unheralded savior of a famous face. The best in the business tweak, enhance, and hone, but their efforts are barely detectable it’s a common misconception that you can always tell when a celebrity has had something done. Actually, that’s only when they’ve had something done badly.
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